If not myself, then who am I?

                                                      Me with tennis ball I found in the park

This was the question I was asking a lot on Monday evening and quite a lot of yesterday too. It wasn't that I was trying to be a philosophical doggy Descartes, just that I felt so strange, not like my self at all. I had to keep checking in the mirror that I actually was myself because I couldn't quite believe it. This is what happened: on Monday morning, Mummy took me to the vets. I love the vet, I don't care what anyone says, it is great there because there are dog smells, treats and lots of friendly people. All of the same was true this time, except this time, I stayed there and Mummy left. She looked at me a bit intense when she left but I didn't think anything of it because that nice tall man was holding me and he smells of other animals. So she went, and I went downstairs. Fun! Lots of other types of animals down there like cats, and a new kind that I have smelled before but never seen, which the girl down there told me are called rabbits. The nice tall man left me for a bit, then came back, gave me a stroke and fuss (but at the same time was doing something a bit uncomfortable to my neck) then suddenly I felt all woozy, then I was asleep. I remember thinking I don't want to be asleep because I want to look at all the other animals, but I couldn't help it, I was suddenly so tired. Next thing I knew I was awake and looking at bunnies again, but there was this funny lump between my back legs that hadn't been there before. I was still a bit too tired to really investigate it though so I just played with the nice girl and looked at bunnies.
Then mummy came to pick me up but for some reason I couldn't be bothered to really be nice to her. I didn't want to go and leave the bunnies, but she meanly put me in the stupid car. Normally I like to look about in the car but I just flopped. Where was all my energy? Was this feeling something to do with the new lump between my legs?

So we got home, but it wasn't really home as I knew it. Everything seemed kind of strange. I couldn't settle even though I was so tired it was unbearable. Mummy kept trying to be near me but I didn't want her near me. She put me on the bed but I didn't want to be on the bed. She gave me a new tennis ball - I wanted that obviously. But I couldn't really be bothered to do much with it. She kept saying it was ironic that I was so obsessed with my new ball just as I'd lost my old ones. Mirror mirror on the wall, what is she on about?!

Why is she annoying me so much today? Why am I scared? Why can't I take my eyes off the front door? Why can't I stop licking this strange lump between my legs and why does it hurt more and more? These were my thoughts. Reader, I was scared and confused.

That night was awful, the next day gradually got better. It is only today that I feel like I've finally remembered what life is all about (playing, cuddles, walks, people, treats). It's like I've been to puppy hell and back. But now I don't even mind the new thing between my legs any more. It seems to be getting a bit smaller - Mummy keeps looking at it all the time, which makes me feel weird, and Jeanie is always sniffing it now, then pouncing on me. Such an annoying girl sometimes. It hurts a little bit but really not much.

Whatever happened to me at the vets? I guess I'll never really know, since I don't understand most of what Mummy and Daddy say unless it starts or ends with Henry. But they were worried and now there not, so I guess everything is alright.

People v dogs

This is a really tough question and it is something I spend a lot of time debating in my head, particular when presented with the opportunity to run and jump up either a dog or a person.
The case for people:
they don't bite my ears
they make nice high-pitched, sing songy sounds at me which make my ears feel nice and tingly
they give me treats
about 95% of them fuss and love me, which makes me feel really warm inside

The case against people:
they don't look like me
they use their mouths a lot to say things I don't understand but am presumably meant to
their feet are big and hurt if they stand on me
there are 5% that ignore me
they don't play chase as much as dogs
they don't do rough and tumble play fights like other dogs
they don't let me eat their food (well, sometimes, but not often enough)

The case for dogs:
They look like me and are generally about my height!
Some of them like to play - nicely I mean, not bitey
Some of them let me sniff them
I can chase them and they are as fast as me, not like slow people

The case against dogs:
About 50% of them don't like me and are either mean or ignore me (a higher % than no of people who don't like me)
Some are too rough, with big paws that squish me and teeth that hurt on my tummy
Some don't smell nice
Often, they won't let me play with their stuff - toys, balls etc

So I guess people win then really, because the most important factor for me, as you know, is attention, and I deffo get more of it from the tall folks. But then there are some specific dogs that I like, like Jeanie. And Tilly. I'll make an exception for them.

Seaweed, horse poo and other finds

The life of a puppy is a busy one, so I make no apologies for the infrequency of my blogging.
Today there has been some respite from the non-stop chain of new experiences that I have been enjoying.
This is because we (all of us, me, Mummy and Daddy) are on holiday in a place called Cornwall.
So you'd think we'd be on a beach somewhere and actually we have been every day so far (see picture above, taken yesterday). But today Daddy isn't very well. Something is wrong with him that is a big word that Mummy said on the phone. If I were to guess I'd say you spell it "gastroenteritis". Anyway, he keeps making this quite shocking sound every time he goes into that other room. Then he comes back and ignores me. But I sort of can't hold it against him because he looks so terrible. And mummy is looking after him so we have to be here, in this room that isn't home but is home at the moment. I can see the blue of outside and I can hear the gulls (a type of sea bird, der). But we are stuck in here, listening to Daddy groan. Boring.
But enough of that. I want to tell you about this week. This amazing week of walking and loads of other dogs and sand and big amounts of water that foam up and chase me on the sand. Sometimes it brings seaweed with it, which I like to put in my mouth and take to Mummy, or just chew. Sand is also great for digging. If I dig far enough down then more water comes out. Here is a trench I made yesterday.

We've done soft, grassy walks too. Like this one:

And wherever we walk, there are rocks. These stick out of the ground and very often the only way round is to go over. I didn't like all the going up high and uneven surfaces at first but once I'd done it a couple of times, I wanted to do it all the time. I got quite good at it. Look here, for instance:

And also on the beach, where the rocks are often covered in the seaweed-y stuff:

I think my favourite place in the world might actually be the beach. There is just nothing that is wrong with it. The feel of the ground, the wetness, softness mixed with hardness, loads of different stuff to put in my mouth like twigs and shells as well as seaweed. And the running, my gosh, I can run for miles and miles off the lead and not get told off or asked to come back.
The water is pretty good too, though not when I have to actually swim. I'd rather avoid that if possible. Paddling is about my limit really.

But then, grass-walking is undeniably good too. That's where you are more likely to find horse poo, and let me tell you, you want as much of that as you can get hold of. I mean, not to eat, just to have in your mouth to taste while you walk around. I find it gives me an enormous sense of pride, just having a chunk of that in my mouth. If other dogs see it, you can bet they are seriously jealous. As much as I love putting everything in my mouth, seriously, nothing tops the poo.

Whenever we haven't been walking about, I've been so tired, mainly because I am really, really little, and I think honestly that those walks we've been doing are for much bigger people/ dogs. It is difficult because I have been getting super tired, but then if either Mummy or Daddy picks me up to give my legs a rest, I can't help but think I'd actually much rather be down on the ground after all. I can see better when they carry me and my legs don't hurt, true, but the sniffing is rubbish up there.

Me being carried - fun or not fun? The jury is out

Anyway, I'm a firm believer that there is a time for sleeping and being carried, and usually that time is not when you are outside.

A quick note on other dogs: I am continually flummoxed. Why are some of them so grumpy and snappy, why do others ignore me, and why is it only the small minority who want to play with me? Look at me, for heavensakes. I'm a harmless bundle of fun. I would play with me. I'm trying really hard not to let my feelings get hurt, but every time I go up to a new dog, I'll admit, I'm that tiny bit more wary. I don't want to get my head bitten off, after all. But it is still always worth going up to them and having a try. You never know, you might get lucky.

I'm getting a bit tired again now - even though I haven't been doing much at all today - so I'm going to head off, if that's ok, for a bit of a snooze. TTFN. 

On chewing

                                                    Me with squeaky ball

Gosh - it has been a while since I've written on here. I can only apologise. Mummy seems to think I have changed a bit in the last couple of weeks on account of something called "teething" - apparently I have started it and it is making me go a bit out of character at times. That must be why. I just haven't felt like writing. All I want to do is chew. It is the strangest urge. I get completely overcome and must chew through whatever it is that I have decided to start chewing or I just won't be satisfied.
I can tell you a bit about some of the stuff I've been chewing, although just talking about it makes me want to get back down on the floor and start gnashing. Yum. So far I have chewed:

2 x cables. Apparently this is really naughty - that might be why I find it so thrilling. The first one I found was narrow and white and not attached to the wall but with three metal things sticking out of a big white box at the end. so I just chewed threw the cable until the big white box with metal bits wasn't attached anymore. This took me no time at all. Maybe 30 seconds? I couldn't believe it when the cable finally broke in two - such a sense of achievement.

The other cable I am still working on. No, sorry, Mummy replaced the original one after making a big gasping sound and moving me somewhere else immediately after she found me chewing it. I'd got pretty far through it - all the black stuff on the outside had gone and was getting stuck in to the bits of metal string when she found me. This one had a big black box in the middle - with one end connected to the thing I write the blogs on and the other connected to the wall. Honestly, the way Mummy reacted you'd have thought we were both about to die or something. Anyway she's got a new cable now. It is just so tempting - I know I won't be able to resist. It is only a matter of time until her back is turned again....

Other stuff I've chewed:

- a shower poof - satisfying to rip up but not very challenging.
- a plastic bottle - my fave chasey things - I love it when I eventually GET... MY... TEETH.. IN!
- the legs of the sofa
- the sofa itself - managed to get some bits of thread loose but always interrupted with this one
- fingers and hands. Soft and smelling of people. Just great, but they always pull away when I get to the good bit
- bones - so many of these. Freeze-dried, raw meat, made of plastic.. who cares? Bring them on, I'll take them all.
- socks - quite satisfying but not as good as
- Mummy's shoes!! Left under the bed, surely just for me, and with these hard sticky out heely things. AND they smell of mummy. Although I like other people's shoes too. Even if they are actually on their feet.
- squeaky ball, natch
There aren't so many pictures of me chewing stuff because I generally have to stop as soon as someone sees me. But just so you aren't bored, here is a picture of me, sort of chewing, an apple:

Now, you might think it strange that I like apples. But I tell you - other dogs are totally missing out by turning their noses up at them just because they are fruit. Honestly. They are sweet, and tangy and fleshy and grainy and soft and they make me lick and lick my mouth for ages afterwards because that taste just stays with me. If only I could get mummy to give me more next time. Perhaps if I just keep jumping up at her over and over again and wagging my tale and looking at her insistently next time she has one, she will give me more. Yes, I will keep trying that tactic. Or how else will she know I want it?

Oh, one last thing. I have to give a shout out to my Auntie Michelle. I hope you are reading Mitch! We haven't seen her for about a week but last time she came round it was so awesome because she was actually still here when I woke up in the morning and was even lying on the floor so I could lick her and stand on her and stuff! I wish that more people stayed until morning. In fact, I wish that I could just collect everyone I've ever met all in one place, a place where they would all forever give me love, attention, food and games. They would never be allowed to leave and would just be nice to me all the time, like Auntie Michelle is. Yes, I'm going to hold that thought now, just before I go to sleep. That way maybe I'll dream it, and it will seem real, even if only for a short time.

Rain = yuck

Do you know, I am not really sure what to say about today. On the one hand, I'm not one to turn my nose up at new experiences. But on the other, when that new experience involves large quantities of water falling out of the sky, wetting the floor, wetting my fur, wetting everything, you have to wonder whether it is worth having that experience, or whether you'd be better off at home, on a nice dry sofa, chewing a stuffed toy pheasant.
It just ruins everything. Even people's faces look saggier. And now I've got this funny damp smell that just smells of outside all the time.

You can see I still look a bit wet here, and this is two hours after we got home:

Thank heavens we came back when we did. I mean, I almost thought I was going to wee on mummy I was so desperate to go but I don't want to go anywhere but on the soft thing on the balcony. Mummy kept saying "busy busy" whenever we were on soil, or grass, or near trees, but I just can't DO it there! Doesn't she understand? It is NOT THE RIGHT PLACE. I can't just go around busy busying everywhere, even if other dogs clearly do.. I just can't. Anyway when we got home I rushed to the balcony but didn't make it and did a big wee on the rug - all that saving it to fail at the final hurdle! At least I was close, and mummy didn't mind too much.

You know, it occurred to me today that we haven't talked much about daddy. He isn't around as much as mummy but I love him just as much, in a different way. He has fur on his chin (good for biting) and that makes him a bit more like me than mummy is. He also has fur on his chest that I like to bury into when we are on the soft "bed" thing, as that is usually the only time I have access to it. He is really good fun and is much better to bite than mummy, perhaps because he actually lets me bite him a bit. He perhaps doesn't play with me as much, but when he does it is WAY more fun! He goes to this place called "work" whereas mummy works from home. I get sad when he leaves and usually lie where he lies in the bed after he has gone to remind me of his smell, even though he isn't there. He does come back from work later on in the day, when it is dark outside usually. Whether or not he plays with me then depends rather on what mood he is in. Sometimes he just watches the flat square thing - when daddy watches it it usually shows yellow fake people with funny hair, googly eyes and weird accents. I actually hate it when that is on because it usually means daddy isn't playing with me.

Other stuff I did today: played with rope chew and ate a meat bone. It was frozen at first, but not by the time I had finished licking all the yummy stuff off it!

Here is me with rope chew:

Do you think I am looking older yet? Mummy thinks so because I am longer and have longer whiskers and stuff. I do feel a bit bigger compared to other dogs. Like, I was almost the same size as that dog Stanley as puppy class last night. He really wanted to play with me and it was so amazing because we were actually allowed to play with each other! That never really happened at the old place. We played and played - sometimes him on top, sometimes me, sometimes biting each others faces, sometimes necks. I was quite sad to leave but mummy did say that we could go again next week and that Stanley would be there. He is by far my favourite, although it would also be fab if I could play with that soft white and brown girl dog, Poppy. She was too far away last night. I'm praying actually that next week I get to sit between Stanley and Poppy. Make it happen mummy!

My first walk

(Here I am thinking about what to write in today's blog)

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod, today was the most exciting day of my entire 13 weeks of LIFE! So that blue lead thing that I was telling you about? Well it turns out it is not SO bad after all, because today, after mummy put it on, I basically was allowed to do the one thing that I haven't been allowed to do yet but have wanted to for SO LONG.. I went ON THE GROUND, OUTSIDE.

Ohmygod, I can't even begin to tell you how much fun this was. First, I couldn't believe it, I actually walked into the lift by myself, got out of it by myself, left the building and then saw my friend the concierge and I could actually go up to him by myself! He looked a bit different from down on the floor - much, much bigger, but of course I wasn't scared and immediately started to jump up his legs and run round and round his feet. But then, he seemed a bit distracted and had to go.

I have to say this is the one disappointing thing about people. They always "have to go". Why can't they all just stay and play with me until I'm bored? There were so many of them today.. gosh.. so many. Some came and talked to me and stroked me - some even picked me up and let me bite their hands. Others just smiled at me. Some ignored me completely, which, as you know, I detest. There were more of these than usual, perhaps this is not to do with me though, perhaps it is just that they "have to go." They do all seem very busy. Particularly on that street with all the shops and those big red noisy moving things that go very fast down the middle of the street and scare me a bit.

On the walk I was particularly excited to meet a smaller dog than me who I could tell from the way it smelled was a girl and was older than me. It is a pity she didn't feel the same. She sort of growled at me in this very dominating way, which made me want to get close to the ground and do whatever she wanted. She didn't want to play AT ALL, which I found a bit insulting as I had made such an effort to be friends.

All the walking was great, but a bit tiring. I wish I could manage to go a bit further as I am sure there are more exciting things to see. I sometimes try to go further but whenever I pull mummy stops moving, so I have no choice but to stop pulling. I was a bit sad to go home but then I was very sleepy and pretty much fell straight to sleep.
Other good things about today: bits of a yellow thing called "banana". A bit of celery. Sniffing around in the "fun box." There were great treats in there.
Bad thing about today: stupid pointless car journey. I hate them because I can't see out the window properly and whenever I try I nearly fall off the seat because Mummy keeps making the car move. Here I am in the car.
Gosh, I can't wait til tomorrow. Maybe I will get to go outside again. It is all I can think about. I am obsessed.

The park

Everyone looks at me. I must be very important. I like it when they do because they might play with me or give me a treat. But actually today we went to this place called "the park" and I was astonished at the number of people who didn't come and say hello. It made me feel quite dejected actually. Normally the ones that stop and stroke and fuss me are a bit like mummy but older or like mummy but with these things they push on four wheels. These people are also usually with smaller people, who waddle and hold the hands of the bigger people, and who I like very, very much. I often get to say hello to the little people. Most of them really like me but some are a bit shy. I have to be a bit careful not to bite them as their hands are so small, but sometimes I'm just too excited and forget. I hope they still like me afterwards.

We went to "the park" on a thing called a "bus." It was the first time I had been on one. It was just ok - I really wouldn't get excited about it though. Mummy took me to "the park" in that bag.

I have to admit that I have a bit of a love hate relationship with it. It is not about the design, I'm a dog, so obviously do not care whether there is a floral Liberty print inside and a fashionable scratchproof tweed on the outside, with real brown leather straps. No. I don't care whether it cost £180, which I have heard mummy say to herself but never to other people. No, I have thought about it a lot, and on balance, I am prepared to tolerate it. It is very restrictive and a bit bumpy when mummy walks, but it does mean that we can go out and about and I get to see stuff.

Later, when we got back, I went outside on the balcony and looked around. I think I am meant to use it just for "busy busys", but I've discovered that it has so much more to offer, such as tasty plants, soil, and scratchy, diggy things.

Sometimes I can see people from out there, on other balconies or on the floor. But not today, which was a bit disappointing. I did a "busy busy" on the nice, soft wood today but Mummy never seems that happy with me when I do that. She is always much more happy when I do it on the yellow thing, but I don't like that as much as it is a bit slippy and colder on my paws. So on balance, I think I'll keep doing it on the wood. I can make mummy happy in other ways.

Btw: the last two days have been particularly great because she's been giving me these new tasty treats. They are way tastier than anything else. In fact, I don't think I'll bother eating anything else ever again. The stuff in the green bowl is just so uninteresting by comparison. I'm thinking about those yummy treats now but I'm too tired to go and ask for some.

ps. If you think I am cute now, you should have seen me four weeks ago

I told you so. Until tomorrow, Henry fans.