How to relax

It has occurred to me that you lot (people) are really rubbish at this. You fidget, you move things around, you make noise. What was it that great poem that I love said? "Go placidly, amid the noise and haste". Well I hope you don't mind the boast, but I have this DOWN, whereas you lot, well... you have a lot to learn. Here are my tips:






1) Know when to stop.

I know it can be tough when you are having fun, or doing whatever it is that you lot do in front of screens all the time, but sometimes you have to just stop, then flop, give yourself a proper break, not a half one where you are still sort of doing something else like talking on the phone. You must do nothing at all. Then you will be able to give your full energy to doing things again afterwards, like chasing pigeons, tearing up bits of tissue or saying hello to people. The reason I am able to do all these things so whole-heartedly is that I rest in-between, like this....




2) Position is everything

When you rest, you must do so somewhere quiet - cold if it is warm outside, warm if it is cold inside, preferably dark and preferably soft (although hard floors do have their own appeal). How you lie very much depends on the circumstances (btw. lying is always best - you lot sort of half sit/ half lie - just lie down!). You must be flexible. For instance, I sometimes like to lie on my back to feel the cool air on my belly, as below, but nb. only do this when you are with people/ dogs that you absolutely trust - probably not a good one for down the park:



3) I always recommend a companion for ultimate dozing satisfaction. You can lie next to them, on them, or just touching them. It is best if they are also fully relaxed, or else they might disturb you. Here are a couple of me with Daddy (usually best in the mornings as he rarely moves at all for several hours). Mummy generally moves around too much, but Lucky the Dalmatian is a reliable option too if no one else is around, given that he is inanimate.

4) Finally, let it all go loose, as Basement Jaxx once advised. There is no need to be self-conscious about what you look like when asleep, if you are, you'll miss out on the chance to sleep in all sorts of alternative locations, like on the train, in the car, in someone's house that you barely know (although honestly I find this difficult too as it is usually so exciting being somewhere else).