Encomium to Jeanie Pups

Me and Jeanie Pups

I have mentioned Jeanie a couple of times now without really expanding much, which is really a travesty as she has brought me so much joy I really do owe her a few lines. Jeanie is a minature schnauzer. She is 8 months old, which is one month younger than me. She is grey and white and so, so soft and biteable.

Our paws first met about 5 months ago. We were both out for busys, but our Mums took our leads off so we could play - and how we played. We wrestled, we mouthed, we licked.. We did the "bear dance", which is where both of us stand on hind legs, put our paws together and see who falls over first. We chased. In Jeanie, I discovered exhilarations previously unknown. I don't know if it was her keen eyes, or the way she bounced horizontally and wagged her tail that drove me so crazy. Maybe it was the taste of her tongue, or the way she pinned me to the ground and nuzzled my neck with her teeth. 

She really is the most fun. We play for hours and hours. Sometimes, I like to put something cuddly or chewy in my mouth and run round and round Jeanie to make her want it too. Of course, she always wants it, and so chases me round and round. Sometimes Jeanie puts something in her mouth and does the same thing. It sort of sounds boring when you write it down, but I promise you it isn't. It makes me all breathless and thirsty.

Anyway, we usually see Jeanie (Mummy calls her Jeanie pups, like she calls me Henry pups - together we are The Pups) about once a day or once every other day. We hadn't seen each other for the last few weeks though because apparently Jeanie was "in season", which meant I couldn't see her as even though I have "been done", she still might have made me more excited than I usually am when I see her. We also once didn't see Jeanie for a while because my busys were all wrong. But we are back being The Pups again this week, and it makes me so happy. Here are some of the highlights from yesterday:

The (fake) submission

The "play with me" pose

The leg chew

The roll

The face nuzzle

The invitation

The rear neck grip

The face twist

The leg/ face grapple

The neck pin

Jeanie trying to get the thing in mouth

Putting thing in mouth

Nuzzly pups

The face chew

The surprise rear pounce

Breather

The spin

The love

Meaty bone - I love you

Nom nom nom nom....chomp.... nom nom nom.

Revolutionary. That is the only way to describe this experience. And sublime. At first I wasn't sure, I mean, the meat wasn't cooked and it looked so.. big. But one lick, and I belonged to that bone. There was nowhere it would go that I would not follow. No bit too hard I would not chew. It seemed inconceivable that I would ever want another food stuff again. For two hours I pawed, mawed, nudged, licked and gnawed at this manna from dog heaven. I dragged it around the floor. Mummy moved it back to the newspaper. I dragged it around some more. Oh bone - you are so beautiful to me...Did my heart love til now? You, with your fatty sinews, your soft, glistening, moist pillows of meat, your crunch: so salty, so satisfying. I want more, but I don't want you to end. I buried you inside my yellow towel, but your temptation was too much - I returned, and licked some more. Until you were unceremoniously shoved inside an ocado bag and confined to the fridge. But I tell you bone, you were tiring. I slept for two solid hours after our first encounter. But it was a good tired. The best I've ever had. Bone, bone, I long for our reunion. Come back to me soon. I'm alone without you, bone.

Why my stars are not aligned

I've been going through a bit of an unlucky spell this week. First, there was the noisy barking dog in the park. We'd only just got there when I heard it, and I wasn't about to find out what was behind it... I looked at Mummy, she looked at me.... I turned on my heels and ran.. I ran for my life, to be safe and away from the barking monster dog. Back down the path, Mummy screaming behind me to stay, but Mummy, DIDN'T YOU HEAR IT?!

I just kept going.. we got to the pavement, I kept going. "Where should I go?" I thought. "Where else but back home" came the voice in my head.. so I hot-footed it over the road and back through the grey gates into our development, whereupon I did a little squitty poo. Well, at this point, Mummy had caught up with me. She looked a mess. Really destraught, a bit shaky. She applied my lead, as I always knew she would, and we continued in silence back to the flat.

I've never been that scared of another dog before and I've never run away like that before either. I can't really explain it - it is just how I felt at the time. I've noticed that my lead has remained on for all subsequent walks, however, so it obviously wasn't a good idea.

Bad luck number 2: Dental floss. It was Mummy's fault - she was teasing me with it, making me want it, that minty, tasty string... so when she wasn't looking I just ate it. Daddy tried to get it out of my mouth but by then it was too late - it was mostly in my mouth by then so I just gobbled up the last bit. Again, Mummy sort of changed colour. It has been two days now since and the dental floss must still be inside me. We keep going to the vets about it but apparently there is nothing any of us can do except wait and hope it comes out soon...apparently it can cause a lot of damage - "cheesewiring" my intestines or something. I hope it comes out soon.

Bad luck 3: Seriously, that cat must have cursed me.. there is never this much wrong in one go... So last week, Mummy and I both sort of noticed around the same time that I had developed some little scabby, itchy pimples on my head. Since then, they have multiplied and around my ears and travelling down my back.. the vet has been looking at them, Mummy keeps touching them, which I don't like, and I just keep wanting to scratch, scratch them away... but they don't go away, they just hurt more, and more keep appearing. I am so afflicted.

Bad luck 4: Mauling. Rottweiler. Seemed friendly enough at first, then I wasn't sure why it was drooling, why it pinned me underneath it, or why it was making that low growling sound... and then it went for it... it tried to bite me, it tried to wrestle me with its big, harsh paws... I squealed, Mummy pulled me away.... I was safe. Why it didn't like me I don't know - I tried to run back up to it afterwards to make it like me but Mummy just kept pulling me away... but I wasn't HURT or anything so I don't see why I couldn't go back over... maybe if I'd just wagged my tail at her a bit more, got a bit lower to the ground, or licked her tongue? We'll never know - but Henry is not to be defeated by this one act of aggression, oh no, it will take more than that to knock out my stuffing. Rottweilers, honestly.