On chewing

                                                    Me with squeaky ball

Gosh - it has been a while since I've written on here. I can only apologise. Mummy seems to think I have changed a bit in the last couple of weeks on account of something called "teething" - apparently I have started it and it is making me go a bit out of character at times. That must be why. I just haven't felt like writing. All I want to do is chew. It is the strangest urge. I get completely overcome and must chew through whatever it is that I have decided to start chewing or I just won't be satisfied.
I can tell you a bit about some of the stuff I've been chewing, although just talking about it makes me want to get back down on the floor and start gnashing. Yum. So far I have chewed:

2 x cables. Apparently this is really naughty - that might be why I find it so thrilling. The first one I found was narrow and white and not attached to the wall but with three metal things sticking out of a big white box at the end. so I just chewed threw the cable until the big white box with metal bits wasn't attached anymore. This took me no time at all. Maybe 30 seconds? I couldn't believe it when the cable finally broke in two - such a sense of achievement.

The other cable I am still working on. No, sorry, Mummy replaced the original one after making a big gasping sound and moving me somewhere else immediately after she found me chewing it. I'd got pretty far through it - all the black stuff on the outside had gone and was getting stuck in to the bits of metal string when she found me. This one had a big black box in the middle - with one end connected to the thing I write the blogs on and the other connected to the wall. Honestly, the way Mummy reacted you'd have thought we were both about to die or something. Anyway she's got a new cable now. It is just so tempting - I know I won't be able to resist. It is only a matter of time until her back is turned again....

Other stuff I've chewed:

- a shower poof - satisfying to rip up but not very challenging.
- a plastic bottle - my fave chasey things - I love it when I eventually GET... MY... TEETH.. IN!
- the legs of the sofa
- the sofa itself - managed to get some bits of thread loose but always interrupted with this one
- fingers and hands. Soft and smelling of people. Just great, but they always pull away when I get to the good bit
- bones - so many of these. Freeze-dried, raw meat, made of plastic.. who cares? Bring them on, I'll take them all.
- socks - quite satisfying but not as good as
- Mummy's shoes!! Left under the bed, surely just for me, and with these hard sticky out heely things. AND they smell of mummy. Although I like other people's shoes too. Even if they are actually on their feet.
- squeaky ball, natch
There aren't so many pictures of me chewing stuff because I generally have to stop as soon as someone sees me. But just so you aren't bored, here is a picture of me, sort of chewing, an apple:

Now, you might think it strange that I like apples. But I tell you - other dogs are totally missing out by turning their noses up at them just because they are fruit. Honestly. They are sweet, and tangy and fleshy and grainy and soft and they make me lick and lick my mouth for ages afterwards because that taste just stays with me. If only I could get mummy to give me more next time. Perhaps if I just keep jumping up at her over and over again and wagging my tale and looking at her insistently next time she has one, she will give me more. Yes, I will keep trying that tactic. Or how else will she know I want it?

Oh, one last thing. I have to give a shout out to my Auntie Michelle. I hope you are reading Mitch! We haven't seen her for about a week but last time she came round it was so awesome because she was actually still here when I woke up in the morning and was even lying on the floor so I could lick her and stand on her and stuff! I wish that more people stayed until morning. In fact, I wish that I could just collect everyone I've ever met all in one place, a place where they would all forever give me love, attention, food and games. They would never be allowed to leave and would just be nice to me all the time, like Auntie Michelle is. Yes, I'm going to hold that thought now, just before I go to sleep. That way maybe I'll dream it, and it will seem real, even if only for a short time.

Rain = yuck

Do you know, I am not really sure what to say about today. On the one hand, I'm not one to turn my nose up at new experiences. But on the other, when that new experience involves large quantities of water falling out of the sky, wetting the floor, wetting my fur, wetting everything, you have to wonder whether it is worth having that experience, or whether you'd be better off at home, on a nice dry sofa, chewing a stuffed toy pheasant.
It just ruins everything. Even people's faces look saggier. And now I've got this funny damp smell that just smells of outside all the time.

You can see I still look a bit wet here, and this is two hours after we got home:

Thank heavens we came back when we did. I mean, I almost thought I was going to wee on mummy I was so desperate to go but I don't want to go anywhere but on the soft thing on the balcony. Mummy kept saying "busy busy" whenever we were on soil, or grass, or near trees, but I just can't DO it there! Doesn't she understand? It is NOT THE RIGHT PLACE. I can't just go around busy busying everywhere, even if other dogs clearly do.. I just can't. Anyway when we got home I rushed to the balcony but didn't make it and did a big wee on the rug - all that saving it to fail at the final hurdle! At least I was close, and mummy didn't mind too much.

You know, it occurred to me today that we haven't talked much about daddy. He isn't around as much as mummy but I love him just as much, in a different way. He has fur on his chin (good for biting) and that makes him a bit more like me than mummy is. He also has fur on his chest that I like to bury into when we are on the soft "bed" thing, as that is usually the only time I have access to it. He is really good fun and is much better to bite than mummy, perhaps because he actually lets me bite him a bit. He perhaps doesn't play with me as much, but when he does it is WAY more fun! He goes to this place called "work" whereas mummy works from home. I get sad when he leaves and usually lie where he lies in the bed after he has gone to remind me of his smell, even though he isn't there. He does come back from work later on in the day, when it is dark outside usually. Whether or not he plays with me then depends rather on what mood he is in. Sometimes he just watches the flat square thing - when daddy watches it it usually shows yellow fake people with funny hair, googly eyes and weird accents. I actually hate it when that is on because it usually means daddy isn't playing with me.

Other stuff I did today: played with rope chew and ate a meat bone. It was frozen at first, but not by the time I had finished licking all the yummy stuff off it!

Here is me with rope chew:

Do you think I am looking older yet? Mummy thinks so because I am longer and have longer whiskers and stuff. I do feel a bit bigger compared to other dogs. Like, I was almost the same size as that dog Stanley as puppy class last night. He really wanted to play with me and it was so amazing because we were actually allowed to play with each other! That never really happened at the old place. We played and played - sometimes him on top, sometimes me, sometimes biting each others faces, sometimes necks. I was quite sad to leave but mummy did say that we could go again next week and that Stanley would be there. He is by far my favourite, although it would also be fab if I could play with that soft white and brown girl dog, Poppy. She was too far away last night. I'm praying actually that next week I get to sit between Stanley and Poppy. Make it happen mummy!

My first walk

(Here I am thinking about what to write in today's blog)

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod, today was the most exciting day of my entire 13 weeks of LIFE! So that blue lead thing that I was telling you about? Well it turns out it is not SO bad after all, because today, after mummy put it on, I basically was allowed to do the one thing that I haven't been allowed to do yet but have wanted to for SO LONG.. I went ON THE GROUND, OUTSIDE.

Ohmygod, I can't even begin to tell you how much fun this was. First, I couldn't believe it, I actually walked into the lift by myself, got out of it by myself, left the building and then saw my friend the concierge and I could actually go up to him by myself! He looked a bit different from down on the floor - much, much bigger, but of course I wasn't scared and immediately started to jump up his legs and run round and round his feet. But then, he seemed a bit distracted and had to go.

I have to say this is the one disappointing thing about people. They always "have to go". Why can't they all just stay and play with me until I'm bored? There were so many of them today.. gosh.. so many. Some came and talked to me and stroked me - some even picked me up and let me bite their hands. Others just smiled at me. Some ignored me completely, which, as you know, I detest. There were more of these than usual, perhaps this is not to do with me though, perhaps it is just that they "have to go." They do all seem very busy. Particularly on that street with all the shops and those big red noisy moving things that go very fast down the middle of the street and scare me a bit.

On the walk I was particularly excited to meet a smaller dog than me who I could tell from the way it smelled was a girl and was older than me. It is a pity she didn't feel the same. She sort of growled at me in this very dominating way, which made me want to get close to the ground and do whatever she wanted. She didn't want to play AT ALL, which I found a bit insulting as I had made such an effort to be friends.

All the walking was great, but a bit tiring. I wish I could manage to go a bit further as I am sure there are more exciting things to see. I sometimes try to go further but whenever I pull mummy stops moving, so I have no choice but to stop pulling. I was a bit sad to go home but then I was very sleepy and pretty much fell straight to sleep.
Other good things about today: bits of a yellow thing called "banana". A bit of celery. Sniffing around in the "fun box." There were great treats in there.
Bad thing about today: stupid pointless car journey. I hate them because I can't see out the window properly and whenever I try I nearly fall off the seat because Mummy keeps making the car move. Here I am in the car.
Gosh, I can't wait til tomorrow. Maybe I will get to go outside again. It is all I can think about. I am obsessed.

The park

Everyone looks at me. I must be very important. I like it when they do because they might play with me or give me a treat. But actually today we went to this place called "the park" and I was astonished at the number of people who didn't come and say hello. It made me feel quite dejected actually. Normally the ones that stop and stroke and fuss me are a bit like mummy but older or like mummy but with these things they push on four wheels. These people are also usually with smaller people, who waddle and hold the hands of the bigger people, and who I like very, very much. I often get to say hello to the little people. Most of them really like me but some are a bit shy. I have to be a bit careful not to bite them as their hands are so small, but sometimes I'm just too excited and forget. I hope they still like me afterwards.

We went to "the park" on a thing called a "bus." It was the first time I had been on one. It was just ok - I really wouldn't get excited about it though. Mummy took me to "the park" in that bag.

I have to admit that I have a bit of a love hate relationship with it. It is not about the design, I'm a dog, so obviously do not care whether there is a floral Liberty print inside and a fashionable scratchproof tweed on the outside, with real brown leather straps. No. I don't care whether it cost £180, which I have heard mummy say to herself but never to other people. No, I have thought about it a lot, and on balance, I am prepared to tolerate it. It is very restrictive and a bit bumpy when mummy walks, but it does mean that we can go out and about and I get to see stuff.

Later, when we got back, I went outside on the balcony and looked around. I think I am meant to use it just for "busy busys", but I've discovered that it has so much more to offer, such as tasty plants, soil, and scratchy, diggy things.

Sometimes I can see people from out there, on other balconies or on the floor. But not today, which was a bit disappointing. I did a "busy busy" on the nice, soft wood today but Mummy never seems that happy with me when I do that. She is always much more happy when I do it on the yellow thing, but I don't like that as much as it is a bit slippy and colder on my paws. So on balance, I think I'll keep doing it on the wood. I can make mummy happy in other ways.

Btw: the last two days have been particularly great because she's been giving me these new tasty treats. They are way tastier than anything else. In fact, I don't think I'll bother eating anything else ever again. The stuff in the green bowl is just so uninteresting by comparison. I'm thinking about those yummy treats now but I'm too tired to go and ask for some.

ps. If you think I am cute now, you should have seen me four weeks ago

I told you so. Until tomorrow, Henry fans.

Second vaccination day

Today, mummy sang a song to me. She said it was called "You are my everything" by Mary J Blige. Whatever it was, it was very embarrassing as it was all out of tune and she did this weird side-to-side dance at the same time that made me feel a bit sick.

She took this picture of me just after she had finished the spontaneous rendition and I made sure that my expression carried all of the distaste that I felt at the time:

Later, when mummy's back was turned for 5 seconds, I got stuck into the dirty laundry pile, picking out a few choice items:

I don't know why mummy makes such a fuss when I take these things...

I slept on the newspaper today too, and congratulated myself on my cunning. You see, mummy can't read it if I am on it, which means she pays attention to me instead.

Later, we went to the vets, which I usually like because they give me treats and chews and attention, but I didn't like it this time because they stuck a needle in me and then made me stand still while they clipped my claws. Mummy didn't take the camera for this, presumably because it was all just too horrible to ever want to look at again. I was in a bit of a sulk but soon got over it.

Tonight, we went to a puppy party. I've been going to these for three weeks now and they still won't let me play with the other dogs. But at least I get to see them and follow them around a bit. I like these parties but people are always trying to make me do stuff, like walk with them when that blue lead thing is attached to me. I don't see why I should, so I often pull back, but then we don't go anywhere and it is rubbish. I like the new dog called Ollie because he is small and soft and I can climb on top of him. But then mummy always takes me off as soon as I do that. It is so much fun though! I am going to keep doing it. Stuff mummy.

Strange tired feeling and my "busy busy" - the nasty one - didn't look or smell right tonight. A bit like that time a few weeks ago when I had to keep going to the vets and mummy looked all worried all the time. I'd best just go to sleep and not worry about it. She is watching that funny flat square that makes a noise and which shows images of things that aren't really there but move around a lot. So yes, that means I can just go to sleep.