On chewing

                                                    Me with squeaky ball

Gosh - it has been a while since I've written on here. I can only apologise. Mummy seems to think I have changed a bit in the last couple of weeks on account of something called "teething" - apparently I have started it and it is making me go a bit out of character at times. That must be why. I just haven't felt like writing. All I want to do is chew. It is the strangest urge. I get completely overcome and must chew through whatever it is that I have decided to start chewing or I just won't be satisfied.
I can tell you a bit about some of the stuff I've been chewing, although just talking about it makes me want to get back down on the floor and start gnashing. Yum. So far I have chewed:

2 x cables. Apparently this is really naughty - that might be why I find it so thrilling. The first one I found was narrow and white and not attached to the wall but with three metal things sticking out of a big white box at the end. so I just chewed threw the cable until the big white box with metal bits wasn't attached anymore. This took me no time at all. Maybe 30 seconds? I couldn't believe it when the cable finally broke in two - such a sense of achievement.

The other cable I am still working on. No, sorry, Mummy replaced the original one after making a big gasping sound and moving me somewhere else immediately after she found me chewing it. I'd got pretty far through it - all the black stuff on the outside had gone and was getting stuck in to the bits of metal string when she found me. This one had a big black box in the middle - with one end connected to the thing I write the blogs on and the other connected to the wall. Honestly, the way Mummy reacted you'd have thought we were both about to die or something. Anyway she's got a new cable now. It is just so tempting - I know I won't be able to resist. It is only a matter of time until her back is turned again....

Other stuff I've chewed:

- a shower poof - satisfying to rip up but not very challenging.
- a plastic bottle - my fave chasey things - I love it when I eventually GET... MY... TEETH.. IN!
- the legs of the sofa
- the sofa itself - managed to get some bits of thread loose but always interrupted with this one
- fingers and hands. Soft and smelling of people. Just great, but they always pull away when I get to the good bit
- bones - so many of these. Freeze-dried, raw meat, made of plastic.. who cares? Bring them on, I'll take them all.
- socks - quite satisfying but not as good as
- Mummy's shoes!! Left under the bed, surely just for me, and with these hard sticky out heely things. AND they smell of mummy. Although I like other people's shoes too. Even if they are actually on their feet.
- squeaky ball, natch
There aren't so many pictures of me chewing stuff because I generally have to stop as soon as someone sees me. But just so you aren't bored, here is a picture of me, sort of chewing, an apple:

Now, you might think it strange that I like apples. But I tell you - other dogs are totally missing out by turning their noses up at them just because they are fruit. Honestly. They are sweet, and tangy and fleshy and grainy and soft and they make me lick and lick my mouth for ages afterwards because that taste just stays with me. If only I could get mummy to give me more next time. Perhaps if I just keep jumping up at her over and over again and wagging my tale and looking at her insistently next time she has one, she will give me more. Yes, I will keep trying that tactic. Or how else will she know I want it?

Oh, one last thing. I have to give a shout out to my Auntie Michelle. I hope you are reading Mitch! We haven't seen her for about a week but last time she came round it was so awesome because she was actually still here when I woke up in the morning and was even lying on the floor so I could lick her and stand on her and stuff! I wish that more people stayed until morning. In fact, I wish that I could just collect everyone I've ever met all in one place, a place where they would all forever give me love, attention, food and games. They would never be allowed to leave and would just be nice to me all the time, like Auntie Michelle is. Yes, I'm going to hold that thought now, just before I go to sleep. That way maybe I'll dream it, and it will seem real, even if only for a short time.